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 Author Zora Neale Hurston's
words speak to me…"There are years that ask
questions and years that answer." In 2007, I
received an answer to a question I'd been grappling
with for years…How will I secure my future
as I grow into my retirement years? The
question haunted me from the moment I turned
50. I knew so many people who were struggling
into their 60's and I didn't want to be one
of them. Should I go back to Corporate America
to bolster my retirement accounts? Take a second
job? Downsize my life? Over and over I searched
for the answer, most especially while watching
Fidelity commercials showcasing senior couples
luxuriating on their yachts. Yeah right!
The more I searched
for an answer to my question of security, the
more insecure I grew. My feelings came to a
head on December 31, 2006, after anguishing
over debt I had racked up over the year. I was
exhausted from my analysis, determined to just
let go. But how? How could I relax into feelings
of faith while I was clinging to so much fear?
I arose on New Year's
Day determined to place my fear aside. I reminded
myself of my blessings—good health, a
comfortable home, and wonderful family and friends.
I had so much in my life to be grateful for.
If only I could remember my bounty, surely my
struggle would end.
I decided to take
a walk that afternoon, and as I walked through
the stillness of New Year's Day, I heard a question
float through my mind. What do you love
most about your work? The question, simple
and clear, had nothing to do with my security—at
least I didn’t think it did. It was a
lovely question that deserved a heartfelt answer.
I smiled and responded as if I were talking
to a dear friend, speaking the words out loud.
I love sitting with my clients, being fully
present to them, helping them access their truth,
their passion, their power. My very next
thought was of two dear friends—Kalpana,
who was on the verge of completing her Masters
in Professional Counseling, and Elizabeth, my
former therapist.
Voila! The answer
to my original “security” question
became clear in an instant. I’d return
to graduate school to pursue my Masters in Professional
Counseling—a vision I let go of at age
26 to pursue a career in business. I had no
regrets about my decision then. I remembered
thinking that the timing wasn’t right.
And it definitely wasn’t. I had no idea
of how much baggage I needed to unload until
Elizabeth showed up in my life.
I received the perfect
answer to my imperfect question as soon as I
let go of fear and grabbed hold of my faith.
I could work as a therapist well into old age,
helping people struggling with life’s
most difficult questions. The very next morning
on January 2, my answer was fully confirmed.
I hadn’t heard from either Kalpana or
Elizabeth in nearly four months. But on that
faithful morning, I received emails from both
of them.
Miracles happen when we just let go, and ask and answer in faith.
Because of my now dual
roles as grad student and sole proprietor, I’ve
formulated a few questions about how best to
use my time. I’ve loved communicating
with you via quarterly newsletters. But I’m
wondering, are they meaningful and/or useful
to you? Do you read them, skim them, or simply
hit delete?
Personally, I know
I’m overwhelmed by the number of newsletters
that show-up in my inbox—and rarely do
I have time to read them all. So, I don’t.
Honestly, I won’t take offense if you
say that you don’t read mine. But I do
want to stay in touch.
To help me best
discern how to move forward with my communication
in 2008, it would be helpful to collect your
thoughts. If you don’t mind, email me
before January 15th at pcarrera@humanarts.biz
with the answers to the following:
What do you enjoy most?
What don’t you read or find particularly
useful?
What would you prefer?
I appreciate
your help. I will get back to you with an answer
as soon as it becomes clear.
 IF…(Questions for the
Game of Life) ) by Evelyn McFarlane
and James Saywell is a perfect accompaniment
to a holiday party or a great stocking stuffer.
One Amazon reviewer sums the book up well…”What
an interesting idea....’If’ asks
all those questions no one ever thinks to ask.
Inspiring, thoughtful answers and a few moments
of contemplation. It starts out as a game and
ends as a revealing guide to character. A great
way to break the ice at parties and boring business
dinners. I love to present this book over a
bottle of wine with someone I love, you would
be amazed at what you don't know about those
closest to you...hours of innocent fun!”
Instead of quotations this month,
I’ve included a few questions contained
in the book. Give ‘em a try at your next
holiday gathering. Then read an excerpt to discover
more.
WOMEN'S POWER: INTRODUCTION
TO GROUP COACHING: Mar 5, 12, 19, 26 from 7:30-
8:30 p.m. EST.
If you’ve been curious about coaching,
now’s the time to try it out for the substantially
reduced rate of $45 an hour. Series includes
(4) 1-hour group coaching teleforums; handmade
journal and reflection note cards; and weekly
summary emails with recommended readings.
ACT NOW! Open enrollment is limited to 5 participants.
Contact me at pcarrera@humanarts.biz
to reserve your space today!
INTERNATIONAL FACILITIES MANAGEMENT
ASSOCIATION: Jan 16, 11:30 to 1:30, Atlanta,
GA. Phyllis presents LEADING
WITH INTEGRITY, weaving stories together
of visionary men and women who illustrate the
power we all possess to orchestrate monumental
change and live the “original” American
Dream. For additional information or to register,
visit http://www.ifmaatlanta.org.
PHENOMENAL WOMEN’S CONFERENCE,
Apr 3, Kennesaw, GA. Phyllis inspires
women to redefine their understanding and use
of power in her breakout session—WOMEN’S
REAL POWER—helping them push
beyond hierarchical models of "power over"
to relational models that draw on women's authentic
experiences. For additional information or to
register, visit http://siegelinstitute.org/PWC%202008.php.
RESULTS COUNT: WOMEN CONNECTING, COMMUNICATING,
SUCCEEDING IN THE BUSINESS WORLD, May 8-9, Atlanta,
GA. Phyllis presents WOMEN'S
REAL POWER & INFLUENCE, sharing empowering
research, inspiring stories from "her-story,"
and a developmental process that builds women's
authentic power. For details on this global
women's conference hosted by Atlanta Women in
Business, visit www.resultscount.us/conference.php.
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Read an excerpt
If you were to be granted one wish, what would it be?
If you could, in retrospect, change one thing about your childhood, what would it be?
If you could spend one whole night alone with anyone in the world who is currently alive, who would you select?
If you could spend one night alone with anyone in history, who would you choose?
If you could physically transport yourself to any place in the world at this moment, where would you go?
If you had to describe the most memorable night of your life, what would you say?
If you could rid the earth of one thing, what would it be?
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