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 Most folks have heard
of John Grey’s infamous bestseller, Men
Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus, but
few are aware of the research that suggests
that we have far more in common with the “opposite
sex” than we have differences. The truth
is—we are not Martians and Venusians—we
are “Earthlings,” and clinging to
outdated stereotypes does little to strengthen
the human race. If we’re ever going to
eliminate gender bias from our planet, then
we must stop thinking in terms of “pink”
and “blue.”
Biological models
assume that sex determines our gender. Yet anthropologists,
including the great Margaret Mead, discovered
cultures where gender differences were virtually
nonexistent. In his book, The Gendered Society,
sociologist Michael S. Kimmel, disputes sex-role
theories, posing the question, “Why is
it, do you suppose, that no reputable scholars
today use the term race roles or
class roles to describe the aggregate differences
between members of different races or classes?”
According to Kimmel, doing so would “flatten
all the distinctions and differences among members
of the same race.”
Each of us is a distinct
human being, no matter our race or gender. Yet
collectively, we are shaped by our cultures--social
environments, institutions, people, and places—systematic
beliefs that have become internalized in our
minds. Some of these beliefs serve us as Earthlings.
Others only stand in our way. If we want our
society to change for the better, then we must
let go of gender stereotypes by first changing
our own minds. Fortunately for all of us, there
is a deep yearning on our planet to free ourselves
from divisiveness and discrimination. If we
choose, we can yield to this movement and gain
the support that is necessary to help us evolve
both individually and collectively.
To begin, I suggest
we stop labeling ourselves as different. I encourage
us all to quit categorizing our beliefs and
behaviors as masculine or feminine. The more
we do, the faster we’ll bridge the mythical
divide between “Mars and Venus,”
and the sooner we’ll all become more complete
human Earthlings.
Most of us have never
received guidance on how to navigate the physical
and psychological changes that occurs over a
lifetime. We muddle along, doing the best we
can with what we’ve got. Some of us seek
solace in reading spiritual texts or self-help
books. We talk to friends or attend a class.
Comforting and supportive as these actions may
be, they seldom result in life-altering change.
As I propose in my
book, A Journey of My Choosing: Traveling
the Creative Path of Life… “We
create our future by the choices we make in
the present. Repeating old patterns of thought,
words and actions keep us traveling in familiar
circles—an acceptable place to be if we
have no aspirations beyond the status quo. But
if we want to enrich our lives and fulfill our
dreams, we must veer in new directions.”
If it is time for you to veer down new paths, to set a course for a lifestyle change or alternative career,
or to simply “be” so you can bring your life into greater balance, then join me (and a wonderful associate) for two self-renewing retreats
in two exquisite locations—one by land, and one by sea—both in harmony with nature and the seasons of your life.
For details on this January/June 2009 program, review the attached PDF flyer.
Space is limited
to 10 women, so if you’re curious, don’t
delay. Sign up for a summer soiree (see events)
to learn more on July 23 or August 20 in Atlanta.
For additional information, visit www.humanarts.biz/ewc.htm .
 I’ve wanted to read Through
the Labyrinth: The Truth About How Women Become
Leaders, since the book was published
last fall. It wasn’t until today that
I picked up a copy at my local book store. WOW!
Talk about truth. Authors Alice H. Eagly and
Linda L. Carli, politely, yet boldly, dissect
what they call "ideologies of male superiority.”
They clearly define the multiple causes of women’s
limited but increasing access to power and authority.
They dispute the amateur philosophies of authors
who write books titled, “Why Good Girls
Don’t Get Ahead, But Gutsy Girls Do,”
or “How to Succeed in Business without
a Penis.” Thank goodness their extensive
research (and I’m talking 40 pages of
citations in the back of the book) propel us
beyond the gendered theories of past into a
21st century approach that helps women navigate
the labyrinth, the “indirect, complex,
and often discontinuous paths toward leadership.”
Read an excerpt.
American Business Women’s
Association: Tuesday, May 13, from 6:30 – 8:00
p.m., Roswell, GA. Phyllis speaks on
Women’s Real Power. For
details, contact Kim Pullon, Chapter President
at 770-642-1642.
CTI Coaching Showcase: Tuesday, May
20 from 2:00 – 3:00 p.m. EDT. FREE. Leading
a provocative teleconference discussion, Phyllis
not only shifts our paradigm of “power,”
she demonstrates an empowering group coaching
model that is positively impacting women at
Nissan-USA. Drawing on the latest research in
women’s leadership, Phyllis offers invaluable
resources and tools to help strengthen women’s
inner authority and build relational power.
To register, email Phyllis at pcarrera@humanarts.biz.
Conference number will be sent closer to date
of event.
Women’s Real Power ~ A Teleforum Series:
Fridays, June 13, 20, 27 from noon – 1:00 p.m.
EDT. Your $120 investment includes (3)
1-hour "connected-learning" teleforums,
Personal Power Profile, handmade journal and reflection
notes, email summaries with recommended
readings. ACT NOW. Open enrollment limited to
5 participants. Visit www.humanarts.biz/ewc.htm or
review the attached PDF flyer to discover how
to expand your real power, and then contact
Phyllis at 404-352-0340 or pcarrera@humanarts.biz
to reserve your space before it’s too
late.
Pathways To Wholeness: A Woman’s Journey
~ Summer Soiree ~ Wednesdays, July 23 or August
20, 6:00 – 8:00 p.m. To learn more
about the life-renewing retreat experience mentioned
above, come meet the facilitators in the garden
and home of Nancy Nolan, Brookhaven, Atlanta.
Nancy and Phyllis will share their own self-discovery
experiences, along with their hopes and plans
for nurturing your pathways to wholeness. To
register, email Phyllis with your name, the
date you’ll be attending, and your phone
number. Details and directions will be emailed
closer to the event time.
For additional information on the retreat series, review the attached PDF flyer.
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Read an excerpt
Thoughts have no sex.
Claire Boothe Luce
The power I exert on the court depends on the power of my arguments, not on my gender.
Sandra Day O’Connor
But let me tell you, this gender thing is history.
You’re looking at a guy who sat down with Margaret Thatcher across the table and talked about serious issues.
George H.W. Bush
The test for whether or not you can hold a job should not be the arrangement of your chromosomes.
Bella Abzug
Class, race, sexuality, gender and all other categories by which we categorize and dismiss each other need to be excavated from the inside.
Dorothy Allison
Remember and help America remember that the fellowship of human beings is more important than the fellowship of race and class and gender in a democratic society.
Marian Wright Edelman
As far as I’m concerned, being any gender is a drag.
Patti Smith
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